Progress The Original Sleep Humper Love Story by 107vyearvoldvvirgin, O - S

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Progress:
The
Origional
Sleep
Humper
Love
Story
by
107vyearvoldvvirgin
Table
of
Contents
Chapter
1...........................................................................................................................................1
Chapter
2......................................................................................................................................5
Chapter
3.......................................................................................................................................9
Chapter
4..................................................................................................................................... 13
Chapter
5...................................................................................................................................20
Chapter
6.....................................................................................................................................27
Chapter
7..................................................................................................................................... 31
Chapter
8...................................................................................................................................38
Chapter
9....................................................................................................................................48
Chapter
10...................................................................................................................................57
Chapter
11.....................................................................................................................................63
Chapter
12...................................................................................................................................74
Chapter
13...................................................................................................................................79
Chapter
14.................................................................................................................................. 88
Chapter
15...................................................................................................................................93
Chapter
16..................................................................................................................................100
Chapter
17..................................................................................................................................108
Chapter
18....................................................................................................................................117
Chapter
19.................................................................................................................................... 121
Chapter
20...............................................................................................................................132
Chapter
21..................................................................................................................................142
Chapter
22................................................................................................................................ 149
Chapter
23............................................................................................................................... 158
Chapter
24.................................................................................................................................165
Chapter
25..................................................................................................................................181
Chapter
26................................................................................................................................188
Chapter
27.................................................................................................................................195
Chapter
28.............................................................................................................................202
Chapter
29.................................................................................................................................218
Chapter
30.............................................................................................................................225
Chapter
31...............................................................................................................................232
Chapter
32
-Epilogue.......................................................................................................238
Chapter
1
Bela
Thump.
Moan.
Thump.
Moan.
Waking up to that sound every morning was enough to make a girl go completely insane. I rolled
over and pressed my pillow firmly over my ears, willing the disturbing noises to die down. Opening
one eye slightly, I checked the time on the clock: seven forty five.
It would be over in ten minutes if I could just wait it out.
A loud crash could be heard above the pounding and moaning sounds and I sat straight up in the
bed before I grabbed a shoe off of the floor and flung it at my closed door.
"Seriously! If you're going to have sex in the kitchen before work, the least you can do is not break
my damn dishes!" I flopped back down in the bed and pulled the covers over my head until I heard the
commotion stop.
Every morning, like clockwork.
My roommate Rosalie and her bumbling boyfriend Emmett would have some sort of weird loud sex
in a corner, or open space, of our apartment. My other roommate Alice and I had learned to wait until
after eight to emerge so that we wouldn't have any more unfortunate incidences like the one last
Halloween.
I would never be able to watch Some Like it Hot ever again after walking in to see Rose bent over
the couch dressed as Marilyn Monroe, her white dress hiked up over her head, and Emmett…
"Happy place, happy place, happy place…" I muttered as I got up to brush my teeth. I had learned
to shower before bed now, too. Getting into the tub after their morning shower sex session was always
a crapshoot. You never knew what you'd find in there.
I cracked the door and poked my nose out. "Put on your clothes, skanks. I'm walking into the
hallway."
When did our apartment become such a danger zone?
Walking stealthily into the kitchen I threw my hands up in defeat. "Emmett! How many times have
I told you that boxer briefs don't count as clothes around here. For godsake, man. I have been looking
at your frank and beans for ten years now. Its time to put them away."
Rose slipped back into the kitchen and sat on Emmett's lap as he finished his toaster strudel. She
was nuzzled up into his neck as he bit into the middle of the pastry. "Why the hell is it always still
frozen in the middle?" he yelled before shoving the entire thing into his mouth.
I poured my orange juice and sighed. "You two really are disgusting. It smells like cornflakes, or
cheerios or some shit in here. Like sex and ass. Not exactly what I want to wake up to in the morning
before I face my day of whiners and complainers."
Rose turned to look at me and shook her head before pointing to Emmett. "Don't bite the hand that
feeds you, dumbass." Emmett just smiled a cocky grin at me in agreement.
Emmett and I worked together. More accurately, we both worked for his father's company, which in
Emmett's mind meant that I worked for
him.
All of us went to High School together after I transferred to Forks High my Junior year. Alice had
taken an instant liking to me and we had become fast friends. She would always say that she had
1
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